The Eye Of The Beholder

The following post and posts to come are not compositions on "how women need to embrace their bodies" even though that is true. They are not writings and ramblings about how magazines constantly scream "if you don't look like this you are not beautiful" even though that is also true. No, they are blog posts about a real issue that has been on my heart for a long time. They're about a real struggle that takes place in every woman's heart. They're about beauty and they're about the lie that beauty has become.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

This is a saying, I'm sure, most of the world has heard at one point or another. It suggests that some things may not be beautiful to some people but to others, those things are breathtaking. Beauty is something that has withstood the test of time. It's actually been around since before time began, and I believe that it has been distorted and twisted to only pertain to certain things… or even certain people. 

Now, as a woman, I, like every other woman on the planet, desire to be beautiful because it is in my nature. It is the cry of my little heart to be called breathtaking, lovely, and beautiful… To have someone look at me and tell me, "you're a treasure."
Sadly, we live in a world that teaches "only SOME women are beautiful." The world teaches young girls that to be beautiful they must look, act, talk, and dress a certain way and if they don't, no one will like them. This is a devastating blow to the emotional and mental wellbeing of a woman. Why? Because beauty is what women were created for.
About a month ago I was at a women's conference and door prizes were being given between sessions. There was a photographer taking pictures of all the winners, asking them to smile and show off their prize. One woman won a prize and asked that her picture not be taken. Now, this could mean two things. One, it could mean that she had an irrational fear of cameras, or two, that she did not think she was beautiful enough to be captured on camera. Insecurity, either way.
Insecurity is, I'm convinced, the Enemy's biggest weapon against women. Every woman has insecurities that constantly pull and nag at hear heart and mind. Recent phrases I've heard women say are as follows:

"I'm so fat.""My hair is so gross."

"I do NOT look good without makeup."

"I hate my legs."

"I hate my hands, they're so fat."

*someone takes a picture* "EW!! Retake that!! I look so awful."

"I wish I was taller."

"I wish I was skinnier."

"I wish I had more muscle."

"My boobs are too small."

"My boobs are too big."

"I wish I was as pretty as her."

The list is endless. Some of my own thoughts have been:

"I wish I was as cool as her."

"She is stunning, I wish I looked more like her."

"My shoulders are too wide."

"My eyes are too small."

"I need to be more tan."

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe I used to look like that."

Here are just a few statistics I've found on body image:

"About 15% of Young women develop disorderly eating habits."-Hesse-Biber 2006

"Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media."- Palmer, Mario. "5 Facts About Body Image." 

"In a survey, more than 40% of women and about 20% of men agreed they would consider cosmetic surgery in the future. The statistics remain relatively constant across gender, age, marital status, and race."-ASAPS: The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery.

Beauty, distorted. Beauty, criticized. Beauty, torn apart. Beauty, destroyed.

HOW DEVASTATING. It breaks my heart to hear these things. I used to catch myself ALL the time thinking these thoughts and finally I decided to put it to a screeching halt.
ENOUGH is ENOUGH.
Your body is the only thing you will have your entire life. YOU ARE STUCK WITH YOUR BODY. WHY would you choose to LET yourself hate it. I've found that the more I talk bad about something I dislike, the more I dislike it. Not too long ago I was talking with the Lord about this very issue and He told me something I will never forget. "I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. When you bad mouth your body, you're bad mouthing my handiwork." The eye of the beholder. And I began to change the way I think. I began to pray "God, help me see how beautiful your creation is, not only in myself but in others". Now, when I hear women, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PART OF CREATION, bad talk themselves, my heart breaks because that might be the very thing that God most loves about the way he created them.
Ladies, I know that insecurity can constantly linger in the back of your mind. I know the battle, it's so easy to stop fighting those thoughts and give in… But there is nothing more unattractive than a woman who thinks she is unattractive. Enough is enough. Can you stop badmouthing your body and view it a new way? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your eyes. Your body is beautiful. The way you look is so beautiful. Special. Without flaw. Perfect.
I don't care what shape or size you are, because the truth is, that it doesn't matter. You don't have to be a certain way to be beautiful. In the posts to come I will interview five girls about their biggest insecurity, and how they have or haven't overcome it. It's time to take a stand, because the best thing about insecurity is that you CHOOSE it. So, will you choose it, or will you choose to let go, and embrace true beauty.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”-Steve Maraboli. "Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience"