My life is a cycle, from which I am constantly learning and which I am constantly living. Sometimes it's different and sometimes the same.
I fail.
I mess up.
I get angry.
I make mistakes.
I act like a two year old.
I throw fits.
I throw parties.
Pity parties…
You don't want to see those.
I get tired.
I get lazy.
I get in moods.
Cleaning moods.
Sad moods.
Eating moods.
The kind where I eat five popsicles in a row.
Then I feel sick.
And do it again.
Sassy moods.
Depressed moods.
Happy moods.
Sleepy moods.
I procrastinate.
I get stuff done.
I think about cooking for myself.
Then realize it's not worth it.
So I make a sandwich.
Which are always so good.
Then I work.
And work some more.
Then my feet hurt.
Then I crash on my couch.
Then I wake up with blanket indents on my face.
Sometimes slobber.
I know you wanted to know that.
And then I start all over again.
The cycle.
Yet after all of this, at the end of my day, I'm grateful for everything that happened, good or bad. Why? Because I learn from everything and because my circumstances and reactions make me realize how imperfect I am. When I see my imperfections, I fall more in Love with He who doesn't see them. I realize new depths of His love. I realize my identity in Him. I see who HE is and who I am in Him. The cycle can only grow me, it cannot break me. It cannot define who I am but my reactions to it define who I will become. The important thing is that I learn, and stretch and embrace every opportunity to do so… And that through everything, at the end of the day, I realize He's still there, leading and walking with me.
