My first week in Kona was scary. I kept hearing things like "some of you will stay at your outreach locations and buy your gravestones there" and "you're all amazing gospel preachers!" I knew the missionary life wasn't for me and I sure as heck had never preached before so there was no way either of those were going to be true for me (or at least so it seemed in my mind at the time). "I can't believe the guts this guy has... he thinks he can tell me what I'm going to do with my future" I thought to myself... then I remembered I came here to be changed... Oops.
It was weird. I felt as though I was surrounded my many mature Christians and I was the only one who wasn't really sure about everything. Though I was nervous and a bit timid I pressed through and pressed in, determined to find truth... The truth that would change me. The change was gradual. It was so slow that I didn't even notice I was changing. By the end of the first week I was a professional gospel preacher and really actually believed it. That in and of itself was amazing because for the first time in a long time, my heart believed the words I was saying about Jesus. My heart believed the simple gospel. Which leads me to one of the first things I learned: The gospel is SIMPLE. I had grown up in church my whole life and never heard the SIMPLE gospel. Sometimes people try to complicate it and say all these things that can taint our view of what Jesus did on the cross but the truth is that He died as a sacrifice in our place and rose from the dead so WE could live eternally with Him in heaven. No hidden "but you must do this to be saved from hell" or "to be good enough to get in to heaven you must"... NO! Jesus wants us even though we're imperfect because the truth is nothing we ever do could make us good enough to enter into heaven without Him. I had so wrapped my brain in religion... in the "do" mentality that I forgot that. Religion says "do, do, do", "You must do this to be saved" or "you must do this to earn God's love."but relationship (Jesus) says "No, DONE". Whoa, my mind was blown.
One day, we broke up into small groups and did something called original design. Basically, we go around the group and pray for each person asking God to show/tell us what His original design for that person was. I was skeptical that God would even talk to me still but I obediently closed my eyes and prayed, "God, please.... PLEASE show me something." Words and pictures began to fill my mind immediately, I didn't even know these girls, how could it be that I knew these things? When it was my turn to say what God had shared with me I was surprised to hear each girl say how accurate I was. My mind was blown, God was trying to get my attention. I knew for sure I was hearing form him when it came to one of the girls in the group. I started praying and all of a sudden a heavy, thick and tangible presence fell on me.... I could hardly sit in my chair it was so strong. I felt so much love... joy-filled love I could hardly breathe. I started to cry. Not tears of sadness but of joy because I was so..... I don't know, filled with love I guess. It was weird but it was also the coolest thing I was ever felt. Then, for the first time in ages I heard God say "Micah, I let you feel my love for her... and it's the same love I feel towards you." WOW. It was the first time I had ever felt a love so deep... "God," I thought "If you're trying to get my attention, you have it." Then the presence left, I could no longer feel it as strongly and immediately my heart ached to feel it again.
During that first week God relentlessly pursued me. I thought that it couldn't get better, that I couldn't possibly be closer to Him, but God knew otherwise and prepared me in those seven days to be changed, to go deeper in relationship with Him than I ever had before.
It was weird. I felt as though I was surrounded my many mature Christians and I was the only one who wasn't really sure about everything. Though I was nervous and a bit timid I pressed through and pressed in, determined to find truth... The truth that would change me. The change was gradual. It was so slow that I didn't even notice I was changing. By the end of the first week I was a professional gospel preacher and really actually believed it. That in and of itself was amazing because for the first time in a long time, my heart believed the words I was saying about Jesus. My heart believed the simple gospel. Which leads me to one of the first things I learned: The gospel is SIMPLE. I had grown up in church my whole life and never heard the SIMPLE gospel. Sometimes people try to complicate it and say all these things that can taint our view of what Jesus did on the cross but the truth is that He died as a sacrifice in our place and rose from the dead so WE could live eternally with Him in heaven. No hidden "but you must do this to be saved from hell" or "to be good enough to get in to heaven you must"... NO! Jesus wants us even though we're imperfect because the truth is nothing we ever do could make us good enough to enter into heaven without Him. I had so wrapped my brain in religion... in the "do" mentality that I forgot that. Religion says "do, do, do", "You must do this to be saved" or "you must do this to earn God's love."but relationship (Jesus) says "No, DONE". Whoa, my mind was blown.
One day, we broke up into small groups and did something called original design. Basically, we go around the group and pray for each person asking God to show/tell us what His original design for that person was. I was skeptical that God would even talk to me still but I obediently closed my eyes and prayed, "God, please.... PLEASE show me something." Words and pictures began to fill my mind immediately, I didn't even know these girls, how could it be that I knew these things? When it was my turn to say what God had shared with me I was surprised to hear each girl say how accurate I was. My mind was blown, God was trying to get my attention. I knew for sure I was hearing form him when it came to one of the girls in the group. I started praying and all of a sudden a heavy, thick and tangible presence fell on me.... I could hardly sit in my chair it was so strong. I felt so much love... joy-filled love I could hardly breathe. I started to cry. Not tears of sadness but of joy because I was so..... I don't know, filled with love I guess. It was weird but it was also the coolest thing I was ever felt. Then, for the first time in ages I heard God say "Micah, I let you feel my love for her... and it's the same love I feel towards you." WOW. It was the first time I had ever felt a love so deep... "God," I thought "If you're trying to get my attention, you have it." Then the presence left, I could no longer feel it as strongly and immediately my heart ached to feel it again.
During that first week God relentlessly pursued me. I thought that it couldn't get better, that I couldn't possibly be closer to Him, but God knew otherwise and prepared me in those seven days to be changed, to go deeper in relationship with Him than I ever had before.
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